So I said it takes a lot of inspiration from one old-school shooter in particular, and that’s Doom. Still, as an excuse to travel across multiple alien dimensions shooting things into paste, it works well enough. The Xbone version does still say it’s in Game Preview, but the game is out, and as far as I know that label no longer applies and the version I played is the full release. Unfortunately this approach to plot means the game ends suddenly and anticlimactically with a text box. It takes you through a variety of locales, most interestingly a huge acid processing plant, a space station and a sprint across a row of platforms on the surface of the ocean, often accompanied by pounding rain. Rebuilt as a cyborg killing machine called The Vessel, you decide to interrupt an on-going war between the forces of “Chaos” and “Prodeus” by jumping into the middle of it and slaughtering them all with heavy weaponry. You are an unnamed person who crash lands in an alien dimension and is killed by a security system when it detects an “Organic”. As you might imagine from a game with that description, its story is really just an excuse to shoot things. It’s touted as an old-school FPS that takes advantage of modern graphical technology, and it clearly has one old-school FPS in particular on its mind, but more on that in a minute. Anyway it turned out to be on Gamepass, so I thought I’d check it out. “James,” you cry, “surely that’s PowerWash Simulator?” Oh my sweet summer child, they mean wet with blood! Gallons of the stuff, give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough. Possibly 25 on that one level wit tha crackles.ProDeus caught my eye when I saw it referred to as “The wettest FPS”. I don't have a fps counter, but I want to say that this game often reaches 60fps and can fluctuate down to 30 at the lowest. Also, I want to say that leaving the graphics options on default gives best handheld performance for some reason. Take it from me, it's smooth enough that I can get through levels without dying on an extremely twitch shooter. The world doesn't owe you a flawless 4k 60fps constant fps port on a Switch for C***st sake. Some people really need to be a little more grateful for what they are given. If it bothers you, this game might be an 8 for you, not nothing. Not even close to a deal breaker and especially not worth a 0. Seriously it was one time at the latter half of one level. I haven't tested but I imagine since it was just that one level, that there probably isn't any hitches in docked mode. Most of the time the game runs buttery smooth, that one level is a small price to pay for being lucky enough to play this on the switch whatsoever. There was ONE level where the audio crackled. It runs almost flawlessly in handheld mode. It pulls off what it's trying to do flawlessly. (You can rate every level as good or bad after you win). Seriously, I'm on level 22 now and there hasn't been a single level that I didn't rate as "good". You CAN turn them into 3d models, but only someone who really hates themselves would do that. The amazing enemy sprite work makes blowing everything apart 3x more satisfying. You CAN turn them into 3d models, but only Sick af AF.
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